Hey. It’s been a while since the day I’ve made my first step here.
I’m feeling sad. And lonely. This year, contrary to what I was hoping, was even worst than the last one. I had a lot of issues with my family, and my health, aaaand my studies, and my personnal life. I realized that during one year being far away from the people I loved, everyone changed. They got used to my absence, and it seemed like they didn’t need me anymore. For months I fought against that thought, until recently, when I understood that I was completely right.
No one was here. I still remember them, almost crying when I told them that I was leaving for another city, all those words like « We’re going to visit you every month, be prepared ! We have to call each other each day, or I kill you. »
And most of all, I remember that even last year, everyone left me alone. I thought that it was because I was far away so it was difficult for them to keep their promises, but it wasn’t true. Even now, nobody, even the one who was supposed to be my best friend for ten years now, doesn’t know how bad I feel. Recently, she had a difficult time, when I was present for her, like, really present. And now that she’s feeling good again, I’m being left out. I don’t know how to react. I almost feel like I deserve everything.
And there is my family… I don’t even know where to begin. I think I won’t…
If someone is passing by, no need to read. I think I just needed to write somewhere my bad thoughts. Feel free to do what you want.
Anyway, before today, I tried to make myself feel better, to do some things I liked, and to hang out (by myself). It almost worked, thanks to spring. So to end this article on a positive note, in hoping that the next one will be happier, here some pictures.